I believe in saying hello and goodbye at the same time, because I don’t always feel like saying goodbye. From Robert Frost: 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both…

If you’ve been following this blog, you know I don’t believe in doing things because it’s the way they’ve always been done. I believe in actions that make sense. We all are all exceptionally different, stylistically. We should be celebrated, not condemned, for our diversity.

Ever been to a party and just felt like leaving and not talking to people on your way out? You’re tired and simply ready to bounce, but you anticipate your best friend’s voice. “You left without saying goodbye? I was looking for you everywhere.”

How many times does this happen? On your way out the door, you seek out everyone at the gathering who you might offend. They argue with you, trying to convince you to stay; they have “just a few items” to run by you before you take off. 45 minutes later, you get in your car.

Society’s rules don’t have to be our personal guidelines. We are in control.

Think through this scenario. You arrive at a family party and hug your sister. “Hey, Sally. So great to see you. It’s been way too long. By the way, I’m saying my goodbye now because when I’m ready to leave, I’m just gonna go. I love you. You look great.”

At this point, you can expect some push back. You’ve just arrived, you’re energetic, and you can roll with it. You’re the quirky family member who marches to the beat of his or her own drum. You’ll be adorable.

This is but one example of how you can make your own rules in life. There are countless others.

My grandfather didn’t do birthday gifts. Don’t get me wrong, he was extremely generous. He didn’t require a reason to hand out a present; he just did it when he felt like it. If his personal giving calendar coincided with a holiday, so be it.

When we blindly follow the rules of others, we feel trapped. Alternatively, if we do what makes sense inside our skin, we have an opportunity to smile and derive confidence…assuming we don’t allow guilt to creep in.  We allow the expression of love to be confused with participation in archaic traditions that no longer vibe with our personal beliefs.

In specific, I’m saying that if it doesn’t jibe with your personal beliefs, take a pass and don’t feel guilty. The other day, my folks were concerned that they had missed my son’s graduation from middle school because they were on vacation. They hadn’t (they had the dates wrong), but they sent me apologetic, and guilt-ridden text messages.

This is unnecessary. Even if they did miss the ceremony, it wasn’t indicative of how much they love my son. This is the mistake society makes – moments like this force unnecessary pits in the stomachs of the men and women who feel like they are disappointing others.

Allow me to clarify. I don’t think we should discount the feelings of other human beings. I simply think we should create our own systems and communicate them. We can convey our beliefs in a way that will help people still bogged down by dogma comprehend that love isn’t what we’ve been brainwashed to think it is. In doing so, we honor ourselves and ultimately have a chance to create real change in our world. It’s the road less traveled.

Which of society’s rules do you refuse to follow?