Summer is over for my two young men, so I am making school lunches every day. Finding what to put in their bags can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be an insurmountable one.

I start with a fundamental question:

1. What will I absolutely not include in their sacks?

This is an important query. Folks will find their own way, but many of the items advertised for lunch boxes are processed crap masquerading as sustenance. We know that it’s unhealthy; we know it’s addictive, yet we still see this stuff marketed at us. It may have “as much calcium as an 8 oz. glass of milk,” but Kraft doesn’t trumpet the trans fats, artificial dyes and other nasty stuff in the ingredients.

Nonfat Milk, Water, Sugar, Modified Corn Starch, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, less than 2% of: Cocoa (Processed with Alkali), Salt, Calcium Carbonate, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Yellow 5, Yellow 6.

That isn’t the nutrition I want my kids gobbling, so I will not be including anything like that “pudding.” Once we have that framework, then we discuss what we will include. I ask two questions:

1. Will it make me proud to feed them these items?
2. Will they eat them?

I understand the balance between healthy and convenient, flexible and diligent, aware and open. I can pack the world’s healthiest lunch, but it does no good if my men won’t eat it. In fact, my oldest regularly requests peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This is not my personal meal of choice, and it’s not the ideal fuel for his tank. He’s hungry and I’m creative, though, so we can make this work. We may have to compromise on the exact menu, but we don’t have to provide low quality ingredients. I purchase the highest quality bread that he’ll eat sans my “no chance” items like high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, etc. He’ll always get a jelly like this one and as natural a peanut butter as possible.

But even my high quality PB and J only takes us so far. To really plan out a menu, before school starts, we have a family meeting.

Me: “Men, what would you like to see in your lunches this year? I’ll make you whatever you want and buy anything within reason, but I need your help. I don’t want you throwing food away at school. If we need to practice some trial and error for a while until we find the right rotation, so be it. We’ll just keep communicating until we discover our sweet spot.”

My boys: “I don’t know”

Me: “Hell no, that won’t do. Get in the car.”

We went straight to the grocery store and walked up and down the aisles together. This wasn’t our first rodeo. They knew better than to grab Oreos and Doritos (stop salivating). We walked away with somewhat acceptable bread, mixed nuts, nectarines, bananas, Clif bars (I told you I’m flexible), chicken, beef and spinach.

Both boys wanted chicken legs or steak (I cook them in advance; they eat it cold). My younger son digs nuts (cue immature laughter) and fruit; my older son is good with a few spinach leaves. He also had a specific request based on his long days with football practice after school.

“Dad, how about some chicken legs and two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?”

“Consider it done,” I told him.

That’s his typical lunch as we chat here in August of 2014. It checks my two boxes: I know he’ll eat it, and I can lay my head on the pillow after supplying him with it.

I will share one more trick. I always put what I want him to eat most on top with the hope that if he’s in a hurry, he hits that item subconsciously. I put the PB and J sandwiches in his bag at the bottom, and then layer the chicken legs next. The bag of spinach goes in last, resting at the very top.

Is my system perfect? Far from it. That’s not the goal here. I end up with content and nourished young men, and that’s what matters at the end of the day.

What are your systems? Please break it down for us in the comments section below.

Kap