Can I be frank? The majority of hotdogs are absolute garbage. You can, however find an “A” version of a “D” food.

Most hotdogs are constructed (I use that word deliberately) from the trimmings of meat left over after an animal has been broken down into choice cuts. This alone seems relatively innocuous.  The combination of different animals is then pushed through metal plates. Not a huge issue, this is the same way beef is ground for hamburgers.

Here’s where it gets hideous. Processed chicken trimmings, resembling nothing so much as clay, are added to the mix. Salt (not from the sea), starch and artificial flavorings are dumped in. Water is then sprayed into a large vat with everything above so that the concoction resembles soft serve ice cream. And what does soft serve need? Yup, corn syrup, because bleached salt has to have an artificial balance.

The mixture needs to be condensed, so air is vacuumed out, and the slop is injected into cellulose casings. At this point, you have a meat stick resembling your ballpark frank, but it won’t taste like it yet. So a liquid smoke bath is applied before a final drenching of salty water. Pass the ketchup, please.

Now that I’ve convinced you to wait until July 4^th for your next Dodger Dog, I’ll give you the good news.

There are healthier, truly delicious options. Be savvy about your selection, and you’ll be enjoying yourself while respecting your temple. Even the optimal options are still processed, but sometimes our boundaries need some flexibility. We all do the best we can.

Your first step is to think ingredients. This is true of any food that comes in a package and particularly useful in this case (pun here, think hard).

Here’s the list for some dogs I buy for my boys:

Organic Grass-Fed Beef, Water. Contains Less Than 2% Of The Following: Sea Salt, Organic Spices, Organic Dehydrated Garlic, Organic Dehydrated Onion, Organic Paprika, Celery Powder.

Recognize all listed ingredients? Good. That’s what your goal is. Ensure your beef comes from cows not treated with hormones or antibiotics (or any other drugs that you don’t want in your own bloodstream) or fed corn.

If you prefer not to eat beef, this turkey dog is a quality alternative.

I’ll muse on buns another day, but for now try chopping up some jalapenos and onions. Slice your dog and get to stuffing. Top with spicy mustard.

You’ll be salivating before your first bite. When people ask how you got so ripped, you can honestly answer with a casual “I eat hotdogs.”

Kap