Who cares what they think of you? Don’t try to impress.

Bullshit. Making a strong first impression in business and in life matters.

In elementary school, I bleached my hair and pierced my ears in four different places. As a teenager and into my early twenties, I rocked the biggest, baggiest clothes I could find, which quickly shifted to the tightest clothes possible when I discovered I had muscles. I added tattoos yearly into my early thirties. All of these decisions were natural forms of expression for a young man, and all of them had consequences, both positive and negative.

My style during all of these phases reflected my attitude. In my adolescence, I had a “fuck authority” approach. Perhaps that came from my father, who spray painted political messages on freeway overpasses when I was a boy. As I matured, I became more cognizant of providing a firm, warm handshake, looking folks in the eyes and trying to engage fully. From entrepreneur.com:

Either consciously or unconsciously, we make judgments about the professionalism, character and competence of others based on first impressions. Just as you evaluate potential business partners, employees and personal acquaintances on your first-time encounter with them, others will judge you and your business by how you conduct yourself.

I don’t believe that we should mask our personal style strictly to conform to a nebulous societal expectation. Nor do I think we should alter our behavior to suit another’s desires or biases. I do, however, believe we should be cognizant of how our energy is being felt by others. We should make our choices while considering the ramifications of our presentation to the world.

I believe strongly in both authenticity and awareness. We can be true to ourselves while still understanding and respecting those around us. Through our conscious choices, we can use all the tools at our disposal to create leverage in the world, align ourselves with strong people and acquire support as we set out ambitiously to achieve our goals, both interpersonal and professional.

Whatever my style and character motives have been, I make an impression when I met people and those impressions impact how I am viewed. Those judgments are made in a split second. From humanresources.about.com:

“Whenever we have to make sense of complicated situations or deal with lots of information quickly, we bring to bear all of our beliefs, attitudes, values, experiences, education and more on the situation. Then, we thin-slice the situation to comprehend it quickly. The implications of this concept have astonishing significance for our personal reactions to most situations.”

You may remember my discussion of the impact our dress can have on our mental state. These impacts aren’t limited to ourselves. We are constantly being evaluated. There is much to be gained from considering our professionalism when meeting new people. Every interaction we have is an opportunity to make an impression.

Ultimately, we should care what others think because we don’t live in the world alone. We may, in the end, decide that conforming to a given expectation may compromise our integrity, but acting like or purposely not caring is irresponsible and shortsighted. Strong character begets further strong character.

Stay true to yourself, but stay aware of your surroundings,

Kap