I promised to pitch (see what I did there?) some suggestions on what to pack in that soft cooler when you head to the yard. My aim is to get you through batting practice and 9 innings. You go into extras, you’re on your own.

I’m assuming you’re headed to a night game, but you can always hit me up for day game tweaks in the comments section below.

First things first, eat before you get to the ballpark, please. Breakfast, lunch and snacks are non-negotiable. When you arrive, you’re surrounded by familiar smells and have those nostalgic emotions running through your veins. You’ll be in a weakened state, and I can’t have you starving on your way to your seats. If you are, you’ll inevitably make poor decisions.

Water is always your friend, but in this case, it’s immeasurably important. You’re going to be spending 6 or 7 hours in the heat and sun, and dehydration is your enemy. Pack 3 bottles, minimum. Otherwise, expect to succumb to that siren call of “Ice cold beya!”

Batting practice will be a thing of beauty and begins around the time (4:00ish) the gates to the ballpark swing open. When you excitedly peer into the cage, your boys will be spitting seeds. This will be tempting. Lucky for you, sunflower seeds are healthy. Pack these in your bag, and don’t stress how many you eat. This isn’t the day to count calories; it’s a special occasion. Focus on quality, not quantity, and you’ll leave feeling confident.

When the boys head back to the clubhouse to prepare for the game, they’ll hit the fruit and veggie table in the food room. I remember coming off the field, sweating from the work and the heat. Sliced melon looked like cold, overgrown jujubes and tasted monumentally better. Take your cue from the guys who do this every day, and pack a large Ziploc with honeydew, cantaloupe and watermelon.

Game time is at 7; this is your moment of truth. In the past, you regularly hit the concession stand at 6:45 to load up with a dog, pizza or nachos.

Now, the 6 oz filet cooked on your grill at noon today, seasoned with sea salt, fresh black pepper and cooked medium rare plus will do quite splendidly in place of the dog. You planned ahead and wrapped it tightly in foil, retaining some of the heat and all of the juices. I’m beyond proud that you also prepared mashed sweet potatoes with grass fed butter and cinnamon and captured them in a small Tupperware container. After the anthem, dig in; I know you remembered your spork, steak knife and camping plate.

It’s the seventh inning, and the team with the white pants is up 2-1. Here comes ice cream guy to capitalize on your anxiety. I love that you let your friend eat the Carnation with the wooden spoon, knowing you’ve got bigger plans. Go ahead and pull out your secret weapon, organic Greek yogurt with blueberries. She looks at you like you’re psycho as you add your final piece of trash back in your soft cooler.

Just to recap, your pre-packed cooler contained:

1. 3 bottles of water
2. Sunflower seeds
3. Bag of assorted melon
4. 6 ounce filet
5. Mashed sweet potatoes
6. Greek yogurt
7. Blueberries
8. Spork, steak knife, camping plate

Your friend ate:

1. Crackerjacks during BP
2. A ridiculously big Coke pregame
3. 2 Beers during the game
4. 2 hot dogs
5. Popcorn
6. Ice Cream

You win and so does your team. Your closer just painted strike three and ended the game. Can’t help you with the traffic. You should have taken your skateboard.

Kap