In life, we face many challenges. Some are straightforward, others serious and complex. The mark of your life depends not on never having challenges, but on how you handle them.

Societally, as men, we are taught to lie and say that we don’t get scared. Some believe that masculinity entails being fearless. It does not. From about.com:

Fear is a powerful and primitive human emotion. It alerts us to the presence of danger and was critical in keeping our ancestors alive. Fear can actually be divided into two stages, biochemical and emotional. The biochemical response is universal, while the emotional response is highly individualized.

The fear response is hardwired into us as humans, whether men or women. It’s a matter of survival of the fittest.

Courage isn’t about never being afraid. It’s about not becoming paralyzed and taking action in the face of a situation with a potentially less than optimal outcome or alternatively, rushing in blindly and foolishly. While it makes sense for us to value and encourage fighting oppression, challenging authority for the sake of positive change, and taking the hard but necessary steps to grow as men, it’s not logical or reasonable that we should do so devoid of human emotion. From Nelson Mandela:

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Mandela modeled the opposite of reckless bravado during his lifetime. Instead he led through calculated, bold action with his life perpetually hanging in the balance. Between his early days of resistance to apartheid and his victory as South Africa’s first democratically elected president, he exhibited truly courageous behavior by undoubtedly persisting through his fear.

We all have choices to make when presented with uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous situations. I endorse surveying the decision, making a decision to act if worthwhile, affirmatively acknowledging the fear and taking a powerful step forward. That is courage.

Strong Mind,

Kap