Humans are fundamentally social animals. The ability to communicate is one of our most important skills. Our ability to express ourselves defines and shapes us. It leads to feeling understood which is essential for our mental wellbeing.

To date, Kaplifestyle has been running for more than 8 months. I have shared daily to the tune of more than 250 posts. We have covered a myriad of topics, but one thing remains consistent: I am always honest with you. Whenever we present ourselves to the world like I have, it is a risk. Exposure is uncomfortable. I know, however, that the only way to effectively deliver my message is to be as authentic as I can.

To that end, I sometimes bring conversations before you that I think will resonate with a larger audience. About a month ago, I told you the story of a friend, “Flash,” and shared his struggles so that we could all extrapolate the information most valuable to us. This was one of the darkest posts I’ve penned, and contained a serious message. Flash was questioning his current state in life.

I still think about what I did to “Grace” and wonder if I even deserve another good shot at love and success in my sport? Truthfully, this year in many ways has been a really sad one for me.

I shared the background; Flash had been unfaithful to Grace and was mired in guilt and grief. Later, I learned (via a mutual friend) that a pro baseball player felt I had handled this issue too lightly.

Quite frankly, Flash is a young man. His desire to sleep with more than one woman is not shocking, or, at least, it shouldn’t be. His inability to articulate this to his belle at the time was the ultimate issue, not any acts in particular. Lest you think I’m going to turn this post into my philosophy on monogamy, I will not. I’ll save that one for later this week (kidding; it might take me two).

My first reaction was common – frankly, I was annoyed. I didn’t feel that I had trivialized anything, and a moment of levity in an otherwise heavy post seemed appropriate. This was nothing more than a defensive reaction though. Communication is a two way street; I can deliver the message, but I need to make sure my audience receives it as well. Criticism presents a golden opportunity to re-evaluate and grow. The most effective communicators are those who speak the language of their listeners.

In this specific incident, I provided the background to the story because it was necessary for comprehension. Far from being salacious gossip, the past history was needed so that everyone could learn and grow with Flash. His actions were an integral part of his current situation, and it would be inappropriate for me to not acknowledge them.

My story and Flash’s actions are but two examples of a larger truth. In order to form any meaningful relationship, all the parties need to be on the same page. Perhaps had I spoken the language of that particular reader, he would have received a more substantive takeaway. Had I been in a one on one conversation with him, I would have had the opportunity to read countenance and try a different approach. If Flash communicated his desire for a non-monogamous relationship with Grace, no one would have felt betrayed by a lack of honesty.

It is important to remember that each person brings their own life experiences and lessons to any conversation. We cannot control the way another person will react to us. By being open to criticism and continually evaluating ourselves, we can feel confident that we have controlled everything within our capability. Will I fail in my attempt to communicate at times? Absolutely, we all do. I preach trial and error on this blog for a reason.

Being honest communicators requires bravery. It can be a monstrous, breath stealing challenge. It is also immeasurably empowering. I may be trying to teach on this blog, but I learn from every single person that takes the time to offer feedback. I share with you openly and honestly, then give you the opportunity and complete freedom to make your own decisions about what I lay before you.

As always, I’m here. Fire away.

Kap