This post aims to save you at least $39. Go ahead and trash your body lotion ($8), chapstick ($3), teeth whitening mouthwash ($6), face cream ($15) and KY jelly ($7). Replace them all with pure, unrefined, organic coconut oil.

A quick internet search will net you several more products you can dispose of in favor of coconut oil, but this will get you off the starting blocks. A jar from Trader Joe’s comes in at about $6; you can get it in a larger size on Amazon for $13.

I don’t know why I didn’t write this post sooner. I mused months ago on its many virtues as cooking oil and briefly touched on it as a sunscreen, but that’s no excuse. I owe you guys the delivery of this information. I realized tonight how many times I reach into the jar. Since penning the initial coconut oil piece, I’ve taken some serious steps, and I’m inspired to share them with you.

A few bullets from my day:

First, I hopped out of the shower and, as is my ritual, moisturized with a few tablespoons before toweling off. From Huffington Post:

Many commercial brands of moisturizers contain petroleum-based ingredients that can suffocate the skin. In contrast, coconut oil provides deep and real moisture. It helps strengthen underlying tissues and helps remove excessive dead cell on the skin’s surface that makes your skin rough and flaky in texture.

Speaking of commercial brands, those women in the Crest Whitestrips commercials have some bright choppers, don’t they? Well, they don’t have anything on my friend Susan Altman, the best health coach the city of Boston can claim.

Susan says her routine consists of swishing with coconut oil for 20 minutes daily and using this natural toothpaste.

I don’t know about the toothpaste, but you can be damn sure that after my pitch-black morning coffee, I engage in a quick rinse with the clear. (No, I don’t mean the humorously dubbed PED of choice for certain famous ballplayers.) With the same spork I used to stab my mushrooms and scoop my eggs, I snatch a little scoop from the jar and shovel it in. The second I move it around a little, it melts. I’m off to the races like it’s Listerine, sans the gargle.

Using coconut oil as a mouthwash takes some getting used to. It’s a strange discovery at first, but I’d rather have a peculiar first experience than a mouthful of chlorhexidine gluconate, cetylpyridinium chloride and…you get the picture.

All that work swishing may leave your lips tired by day’s end. You’ll need a refresher. Reach for that fancy lip balm? Hell no. Just do it; same product.

Now, it’s not waxy, so it won’t behave identically as chapstick, but play with it. If it doesn’t satisfy, feel free to yell at me in the comments section below. Just don’t stress about it or you’ll get wrinkles.

On that note, dudes get wrinkles, too. Is it hours in the Malibu sun or am I just old? Either way, I don’t mess with Oil of Olay, slide me the Oil of Coconut. From antiagingsolutions.com:

Coconut oil is a natural moisturizer, so rubbing the oil daily can prevent skin dryness that is often caused by a vitamins deficiency. – Coconut oil contains an essential emollient, which helps reduce wrinkling and makes the skin softer.

– The oil’s antioxidant properties can prevent the formation of and eliminate free radicals that are one of the primary causes of early aging.