Bill Cosby:

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

I posted a quick tweet to alert folks about the PB&J sandwiches post.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches aren’t for everyone. Wait, that was silly. Yes, they are. http://t.co/BPCJSRz42S

— gabe kapler (@gabekapler) June 13, 2014

Sometimes when I tweet, I hit send and immediately think “Why on earth would you say something so [insert self-deprecating comment here].” I ain’t gonna lie to you though, this was not one of those times. I was feeling sexy about this one and anxiously awaited my hyena pack to join me. This turned out to be relatively naïve.

It started off innocuously. Jeff light-heartedly busted my chops.

@gabekapler Not kids with nut allergies, Gabe.

— Jeff Moss (@JeffMossDSR) June 13, 2014

Not to be outdone, I fired back, responding not just to Jeff, but sending it out to all my loved ones in the twitter-verse.

Huh? That’s what Benadryl is for. “@JeffMossDSR: @gabekapler Not kids with nut allergies, Gabe.”

— gabe kapler (@gabekapler) June 13, 2014

Perhaps this was sent without due consideration; I merely wanted to continue the upbeat and comical mood.  Christine warned me of where we were headed.

@gabekapler I’m sure that will go over well with the food allergy activists.

— Christine (@christine_jean) June 13, 2014

I was still caught up in my own comedic genius.

@christine_jean Wait, food allergy activists need laughter, too. Pass em a PB & J.

— gabe kapler (@gabekapler) June 13, 2014

As it turns out, I’m not funny. In fact, the narrative quickly turned to the assumption that I’m trying to peddle my dangerous peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to children with food allergies. Here was the haymaker from my friend Chris.

@gabekapler @JeffMossDSR I don’t have a kid with allergy & I love your insight, but this is just an asinine comment

— Chris Coyle (@cdubb21) June 13, 2014

This is where I stopped giggling awkwardly. Did this dude recognize the spirit of the tweets? Has he been following the tongue in cheek nature of this blog and a good portion of my social media (whoa, this is sounding narcissistic)? Was I being less than empathetic?

Tim followed it up and wanted a public apology.

@gabekapler knowing how bright you are, I’ll assume you’re reading up on severe nut allergies and drafting an apology as we speak.

— Tim Stone (@timstone47) June 13, 2014

Intimidating, but a bit flattering. I did some research (perhaps to prove worthy of the backhand compliment). From kidshealth.org:

Peanuts aren’t actually a true nut; they’re a legume (in the same family as peas and lentils).

Tim, with all due respect, I write a fitness blog. You think I didn’t know my kidney beans and peanuts are kin? C’mon.

If you’ve followed this blog, you know how I feel about anti-inflammatory medication and man-made ingestible goods in general. This should be your first sign that I wouldn’t suggest Benadryl seriously to anyone for any reason.

What would I suggest? For those on twitter who seem allergic to humor, I have an anti-trolling oil to recommend. Yup, it comes from coconuts. One of my recent suggestions may have the common side effect of relaxation.

Coconut oil is the world’s greatest lubricant.

Yup, I said it. It’s damn slippery. The folks sneezing at the first sign of a chuckle may find it helpful.

Okay, let’s pause and discuss this seriously for a moment. I know kids and adults with food allergies have some pretty high hurdles to leap on a regular basis. I also know that people who are suffering are those most in need of comic relief. From webmd.com:

I believe that if people can get more laughter in their lives, they are a lot better off,” says Steve Wilson, MA, CSP, a psychologist and laugh therapist. “They might be healthier too.

A jokey display on twitter is a far cry from a declaration of a position on an issue. If you’d like to challenge me on one of my public stances, at least wait for me to take one.

Peace and a bottle of coconut grease,

Kap